Writer: J P Fear 
Date:Monday April 3 2006
Time: 9:22AM
Well, as if a 5-0 loss against Arsenal wasn't shock enough, I've just received a communication from Homer Simpson. Not something you expect whilst sitting in Redditch, but then again, I do live in my own little world.
I don't usually pass on private communications, but on this occasion I will.
Hi Jonathan
I was reading Vital Villa when all of a sudden I started thinking:
Is your manager mad? Even I know that sugarbags are Australian stingless bees. Hmmmmm, honey.
Anyway, I listened to Villa play a team called backside, or arse or something. I was actually searching for Aston Manor Breweries because Duff have gone bust, and I couldn't help but think:
I apologise for my language, but I'm sure before Mr Burns (Ellis) and Smithers (Steve Stride) joined Villa used to be a top club. It got me thinking, so I went for a walk to say a prayer at Reverend Lovejoys church. Imagine my shock when I saw the sign outside. Shall I fill in the ???? for you?
Then I heard the final score was 5-0 and Gareth Barry had to go off injured, Marge took a picture of me following that devastating news, here it is:
Anyway Villans, cheer up, you are bound to beat the Boingy boing team and that smelly team from the Sty.
DOH!
(with thanks to Deanovilla, Neil Baker and White Hart for images)
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