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If Football Teams Were Women

If Football Teams Were Women

Fulham - Charlotte Church: Proof that money can't buy you class. But could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow.

Birmingham - Pamela Anderson: Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force. Plus millions of people watched them get a good seeing to.

Wigan - Davina McCall: Poor attendances confirm they've been promoted above their ability.

Portsmouth - Girls Aloud: Only one real class act among the hastily assembled line-up. You shouldn't like them but admit it, you've sneaked the occasional admiring glance.

Sunderland - Kerry Katona: Once the people's favourite but now an embarrassment. Fun while it lasted - now disappear from where you came, please.

Spurs - Keira Knightley: Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive English spine. And proof that two little ones up front needn't be a drawback.

Everton - Dannii Minogue: The poor relation to the more glamorous sibling. Can anyone remember when it was they were supposed to be any good?

Arsenal - Jordan: Were more likeable when they weren't packed out with expensive foreign implants.

Newcastle - Jodie Marsh: Impressive front two but embarrassing at the back. Had surgery but need a lot more work to compete at a higher level.

Aston Villa - Dido: Bland, boring and still trading off the one big hit they had years ago. :(

Liverpool - Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Individually all the components look
great but stick them together and it just doesn't work.

Chelsea - Rachel Stevens: You'd rather just watch them than listen to all that painful whining.

Bolton - Clare Balding: You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last team on earth.

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Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Friday March 31 2006
Time: 3:28PM

Comments

0
Always knew I'd find a use for that picture in the end.
The Fear
31/03/2006 15:36:00
0
Always knew I'd find a use for that picture in the end.
The Fear
31/03/2006 15:36:00
0
That's where she ran off to!
NeilBaker
31/03/2006 15:42:00
0
That's where she ran off to!
NeilBaker
31/03/2006 15:42:00
0
Obviously written by a sp*rs fan. Only one of theirs could describe Sp*rs as 'easy on the eye'.
Rocky7
31/03/2006 16:16:00
0
Obviously written by a sp*rs fan. Only one of theirs could describe Sp*rs as 'easy on the eye'.
Rocky7
31/03/2006 16:16:00
0
Oh come on Martin Jol is like a big gay teddybear! ;)
deanovilla
31/03/2006 17:19:00
0
Oh come on Martin Jol is like a big gay teddybear! ;)
deanovilla
31/03/2006 17:19:00
0
It's so good it has appeared on the Bournemouth Vitals site as a post!
Tierney
31/03/2006 18:08:00
0
It's so good it has appeared on the Bournemouth Vitals site as a post!
Tierney
31/03/2006 18:08:00
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