Writer: J P Fear
Date:Friday March 31 2006
Fulham - Charlotte Church: Proof that money can't buy you class. But could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow.
Birmingham - Pamela Anderson: Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force. Plus millions of people watched them get a good seeing to.
Wigan - Davina McCall: Poor attendances confirm they've been promoted above their ability.
Portsmouth - Girls Aloud: Only one real class act among the hastily assembled line-up. You shouldn't like them but admit it, you've sneaked the occasional admiring glance.
Sunderland - Kerry Katona: Once the people's favourite but now an embarrassment. Fun while it lasted - now disappear from where you came, please.
Spurs - Keira Knightley: Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive English spine. And proof that two little ones up front needn't be a drawback.
Everton - Dannii Minogue: The poor relation to the more glamorous sibling. Can anyone remember when it was they were supposed to be any good?
Arsenal - Jordan: Were more likeable when they weren't packed out with expensive foreign implants.
Newcastle - Jodie Marsh: Impressive front two but embarrassing at the back. Had surgery but need a lot more work to compete at a higher level.
Aston Villa - Dido: Bland, boring and still trading off the one big hit they had years ago. :(
Liverpool - Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Individually all the components look
great but stick them together and it just doesn't work.
Chelsea - Rachel Stevens: You'd rather just watch them than listen to all that painful whining.
Bolton - Clare Balding: You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last team on earth.
Date:Friday March 31 2006
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Lambert On Cole Omission, & Zoggy Praise (Thursday July 24 2014)
Lambert - We Were Excellent (Thursday July 24 2014)
FC Dallas 0-2 Aston Villa (Thursday July 24 2014)
I Delphinetly Want A New Deal But Luna's Off (Wednesday July 23 2014)
Gardner To Make 2014-15 His Year (Wednesday July 23 2014)
Roncrete's Sett(led) At Villa (Wednesday July 23 2014)
Vlaar Bar (Wednesday July 23 2014)
|3.||Pride of Lions||462|
|9.||Villan Of The North||187|
|2. Aston Villa||0||0||0||0||+0||0|
|5. Crystal Palace||0||0||0||0||+0||0|
|7. Hull City||0||0||0||0||+0||0|
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