Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

AVFC Have Sacked All Their Fans

AVFC Have Sacked All Their Fans

Aston Villa Football Club today announced that they have sacked all their fans.

The Villa support, who joined the club in 1874, were dismissed by owner Doug Ellis after a series of poor results. A statement issued on behalf of Mr Ellis, who from the end of the season will be known as Club President, said: 'We have been disappointed with the performance of the fans. Results were not what they should have been.

'The way in which some events were discussed by the paying support was disappointing to us. It has been made clear that the only statement that is appropriate for the supporters to make is the mindless chanting of the words: 'I believe'. Genuflection to the club President is also appropriate. The clubs stadium will therefore be known as Ellis Park with immediate effect'

Mr Ellis, who from the end of next season will be known as Tsar of All The Russia's and Empress Of India, added: 'I'd like to thank the Villa support for all its hard work. It gave 100%, but ultimately it did not work out. Doug Ellis and the club's management felt that something had to be done quickly. We owed it to our own ridiculous delusions.'

He then outlined ambitious plans for the club to win the Champion's League, lift the World Cup and put a man on Mars by 2007 - probably Mark Cooper.

In the interim, the support will be replaced by 'caretaker fans' - cloned members of the Ellis family who have been trained to burl scarves and ask no questions.

A spokesman for the Villa Supports Support Group, Mr Jonathan Fear, said: 'I believe.'

Disgruntled Villa fans gathering outside Ellis Park were offered an attractive array of one, two and three-bedroom luxury apartments from £100,000.

By Mark Cooper

Taken from an idea by STEWART KIRKPATRICK at scotsman dot com Click Here


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday March 30 2006
Time: 4:43PM

Comments

0
To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
31/03/2006 06:45:00
0
To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
31/03/2006 06:45:00
0
It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
31/03/2006 11:35:00
0
It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
31/03/2006 11:35:00
0
Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
31/03/2006 20:05:00
0
Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
31/03/2006 20:05:00
0
I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
31/03/2006 22:15:00
0
I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
31/03/2006 22:15:00
0
Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
01/04/2006 11:57:00
0
Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
01/04/2006 11:57:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Another Villa Defender Bombed Out - Collective Whoop!

GONE, GONE... Joleon Lescott has GONE

Villa Fan In Optimism Shocker

Reasons to hold on to optimism whilst looking at the reality of the situation.

2016/17 Transfer Deadline - A Few Days Remain

Well it's almost that time of the year again, only a final few days to go before the closure of the summer transfer window for 2016/17, and with the international break...

Audio - RDM On Bristol City

Manager Roberto Di Matteo has spoken of his disappointment at seeing Aston Villa lose the game against Bristol City yesterday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Bristol City MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini4%
de Laet2%
Elphick2%
Chester4%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna4%
Jedinak2%
Westwood2%
Grealish66%
McCormack8%
Ayew2%
Sub - Amavi0%
Sub - Kozak4%
Sub - Green0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 5 4 1 0 13 4
2 Fulham 5 3 2 0 11 3
3 Barnsley 5 3 0 2 9 4
4 Newcastle 5 3 0 2 9 4
5 Q.P.R. 5 3 0 2 9 3
6 Bristol City 5 3 0 2 9 2
7 Forest 5 3 0 2 9 0
8 Brighton 5 2 2 1 8 4
9 Wolves 5 2 2 1 8 3
10 Birmingham 5 2 2 1 8 2
11 Ipswich 5 2 2 1 8 1
12 Norwich 5 2 2 1 8 1
13 Burton 5 2 1 2 7 1
14 Brentford 5 2 1 2 7 1
15 Reading 5 2 1 2 7 -3
16 Aston Villa 5 1 2 2 5 0
17 Cardiff 5 1 2 2 5 -2
18 Derby County 5 1 2 2 5 -2
19 Sheff Wed 5 1 2 2 5 -3
20 Wigan 5 1 1 3 4 0
21 Leeds Utd 5 1 1 3 4 -4
22 Rotherham 5 1 1 3 4 -9
23 Preston 5 1 0 4 3 -2
24 Blackburn 5 0 1 4 1 -8
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Rosberg wins but must leave disappointed
Latest Vital Boxing News
Chisora Offers to Fight Whyte
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear726
2.glensider685
3.Fulford521
4.Silhillvilla250
5.sirdennis225
6.kefkat203
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings183
8.villasince67182
9.Melon Donkey172
10.DeanoVilla165
Write for Vital Football