UK time is: 06:21:27
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

AVFC Have Sacked All Their Fans

Aston Villa Football Club today announced that they have sacked all their fans.

The Villa support, who joined the club in 1874, were dismissed by owner Doug Ellis after a series of poor results. A statement issued on behalf of Mr Ellis, who from the end of the season will be known as Club President, said: 'We have been disappointed with the performance of the fans. Results were not what they should have been.

'The way in which some events were discussed by the paying support was disappointing to us. It has been made clear that the only statement that is appropriate for the supporters to make is the mindless chanting of the words: 'I believe'. Genuflection to the club President is also appropriate. The clubs stadium will therefore be known as Ellis Park with immediate effect'

Mr Ellis, who from the end of next season will be known as Tsar of All The Russia's and Empress Of India, added: 'I'd like to thank the Villa support for all its hard work. It gave 100%, but ultimately it did not work out. Doug Ellis and the club's management felt that something had to be done quickly. We owed it to our own ridiculous delusions.'

He then outlined ambitious plans for the club to win the Champion's League, lift the World Cup and put a man on Mars by 2007 - probably Mark Cooper.

In the interim, the support will be replaced by 'caretaker fans' - cloned members of the Ellis family who have been trained to burl scarves and ask no questions.

A spokesman for the Villa Supports Support Group, Mr Jonathan Fear, said: 'I believe.'

Disgruntled Villa fans gathering outside Ellis Park were offered an attractive array of one, two and three-bedroom luxury apartments from 100,000.

By Mark Cooper

Taken from an idea by STEWART KIRKPATRICK at scotsman dot com Click Here




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: J P Fear Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday March 30 2006

Time: 4:43PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 06:45:00

To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 06:45:00

It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 11:35:00

It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 11:35:00

Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 20:05:00

Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 20:05:00

I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 22:15:00

I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
Report Abuse
31/03/2006 22:15:00

Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
Report Abuse
01/04/2006 11:57:00

Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
Report Abuse
01/04/2006 11:57:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert Thrilled With Progression (Sunday January 25 2015)

Stats: Aston Villa v Bournemouth (Sunday January 25 2015)

Delph Signs New Long Term Contract (Sunday January 25 2015)

Lambert - Here's Why He Has To Go (Sunday January 25 2015)

N'Zogbia Out - Bent Barbs Back (Sunday January 25 2015)

Clark - We Go In As Favourites (Sunday January 25 2015)

How Much Does It Cost To Boil An Egg? (Saturday January 24 2015)

Lambert - We're In The FA Cup To Win It (Saturday January 24 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 981
2. ClivetheVillan 706
3. Freeman14 645
4. Pride of Lions 581
5. Villan57 424
6. kefkat 289
7. sirdennis 283
8. CDX_EIRE 266
9. thefacehead 263
10. david-avfc 223

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. Everton 22 5 8 9 -4 23
13. Crystal Palace 22 5 8 9 -8 23
14. WBA 22 5 7 10 -9 22
15. Aston Villa 22 5 7 10 -14 22
16. Sunderland 22 3 11 8 -14 20
17. Burnley 22 4 8 10 -15 20
18. Hull City 22 4 7 11 -10 19

Breaking League News

FA Cup Still In Arsenal's Sights
Arsenal : 25/01/2015 21:00:00
Can Swansea City Bounce Back vs Southampton?
Swansea : 25/01/2015 20:52:00
Lambert Thrilled With Progression
Aston Villa : 25/01/2015 19:17:00
Hammers Are #15!
West Ham : 25/01/2015 18:07:00
Sam`s View - Bristol City (a) FA Cup 4th Round
West Ham : 25/01/2015 17:59:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

FA - Bournemouth MotM
Suggested By:  MF
Given 5%
Hutton 3%
Okore 15%
Clark 5%
Richardson 0%
Bacuna 0%
Gil 67%
Sanchez 1%
Cleverley 1%
Benteke 0%
Weimann 3%
Sub - Westwood 0%
Sub - Grealish 0%