Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

AVFC Have Sacked All Their Fans

AVFC Have Sacked All Their Fans

Aston Villa Football Club today announced that they have sacked all their fans.

The Villa support, who joined the club in 1874, were dismissed by owner Doug Ellis after a series of poor results. A statement issued on behalf of Mr Ellis, who from the end of the season will be known as Club President, said: 'We have been disappointed with the performance of the fans. Results were not what they should have been.

'The way in which some events were discussed by the paying support was disappointing to us. It has been made clear that the only statement that is appropriate for the supporters to make is the mindless chanting of the words: 'I believe'. Genuflection to the club President is also appropriate. The clubs stadium will therefore be known as Ellis Park with immediate effect'

Mr Ellis, who from the end of next season will be known as Tsar of All The Russia's and Empress Of India, added: 'I'd like to thank the Villa support for all its hard work. It gave 100%, but ultimately it did not work out. Doug Ellis and the club's management felt that something had to be done quickly. We owed it to our own ridiculous delusions.'

He then outlined ambitious plans for the club to win the Champion's League, lift the World Cup and put a man on Mars by 2007 - probably Mark Cooper.

In the interim, the support will be replaced by 'caretaker fans' - cloned members of the Ellis family who have been trained to burl scarves and ask no questions.

A spokesman for the Villa Supports Support Group, Mr Jonathan Fear, said: 'I believe.'

Disgruntled Villa fans gathering outside Ellis Park were offered an attractive array of one, two and three-bedroom luxury apartments from £100,000.

By Mark Cooper

Taken from an idea by STEWART KIRKPATRICK at scotsman dot com Click Here


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday March 30 2006
Time: 4:43PM

Comments

0
To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
31/03/2006 06:45:00
0
To be honest I'm releaved. I was thinking about quitting but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
ooahPaulMcGrath
31/03/2006 06:45:00
0
It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
31/03/2006 11:35:00
0
It does ease the pressure on us all doesn't it?! lol.
The Fear
31/03/2006 11:35:00
0
Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
31/03/2006 20:05:00
0
Makes you think, we're probably all bit part players in a Doug Ellis dream.
glensider
31/03/2006 20:05:00
0
I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
31/03/2006 22:15:00
0
I'm gonna go and get myself a job at the Blues.... NOT!!! Thats like being sacked as a Doctor and becoming a trolley pusher!
deanovilla
31/03/2006 22:15:00
0
Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
01/04/2006 11:57:00
0
Steady on deano, things aren't that bad yet!
The Fear
01/04/2006 11:57:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Something For The Weekend (521)

Their priorities are clear but their vision is myopic.

An Open Letter To The FA Over Kalinic

An excellent, in depth, letter to the FA over our failed attempt to buy Lovre Kalinic

The Aston Villa Injury Table... Updated

Our weekly update looking at the injury table for Aston Villa and also comparing with all our competitors in the Premier League.

Garde - No Choice, It Has To Be Three Points

Manager Remi Garde has previewed the weekend's game against Norwich City and tagging the match as 'tremendously important' he knows only three points will do.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v Norwich City will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win52%
Lose32%
Draw15%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 24 14 8 2 50 18
2 Man City 24 14 5 5 47 23
3 Spurs 24 12 9 3 45 25
4 Arsenal 24 13 6 5 45 15
5 Man Utd 24 11 7 6 40 10
6 West Ham 24 10 9 5 39 10
7 Southampton 24 9 7 8 34 8
8 Liverpool 24 9 7 8 34 -4
9 Watford 24 9 6 9 33 1
10 Stoke 24 9 6 9 33 -4
11 Everton 24 7 11 6 32 9
12 Crystal Palace 24 9 4 11 31 -4
13 Chelsea 24 7 8 9 29 -2
14 WBA 24 7 8 9 29 -8
15 AFC Bournemouth 24 7 7 10 28 -10
16 Swansea 24 6 8 10 26 -9
17 Norwich 24 6 5 13 23 -18
18 Newcastle 24 5 6 13 21 -19
19 Sunderland 24 5 4 15 19 -19
20 Aston Villa 24 2 7 15 13 -22
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Renault target podium finish by 2018
Latest Vital Boxing News
Dublin Promotion Postponed
Write for Vital Football

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 6 2016 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions263
2.The Fear195
3.Fulford185
4.ClivetheVillan152
5.JuanPabloAngel138
6.revdpete136
7.sirdennis123
8.DeanoVilla93
9.Wurzel92
10.1958Villan58
The Vital Football Members League